I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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