For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Someone shattered a urinal.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
