No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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