what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
