I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
