Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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