Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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