Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
