Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
