so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
