Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
