First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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