flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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