it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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