Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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