Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
