I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
