Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
