Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
