ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
