I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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