Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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