And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
