Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
