Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
