I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
