I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Barsexuality is the new black.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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