This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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