i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
