I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
