Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
