this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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