I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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