she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
