remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
