Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
