he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
No subtext here. People are naked.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
