I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
