I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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