a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
