we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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