After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Someone shattered a urinal.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
