This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
