Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
