i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
