Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Randomize
