I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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