drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
