You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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