Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
