Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
